


You Say the Words that I Can't Say

by rabidchild67



Series: Wangst [8]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Break Up, Crack, F/M, M/M, Makeup, Talking Penis, Talking Vagina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 02:30:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabidchild67/pseuds/rabidchild67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything somes to a, um, head...</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Say the Words that I Can't Say

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story is a lyric from the song “Bizarre Love Triangle” by New Order.

“Fit as a fiddle and ready for love. I can jump over the moon up above. Fit as a fiddle and ready for love!

“I haven't a worry, I haven't a care, I feel like a feather that's floating on air, Fit as a fiddle and ready for love!”

Neal’s dick fairly hopped around, making Neal grateful he’d chosen a looser fitting pair of slacks for the evening. He dropped his hand and cupped his dick firmly but lovingly. “Settle down.” He began fastening his cufflinks. “Someone’s in a good mood.”

“Oh, what’s not to be happy about?” his dick enthused. “We’re going to the play tonight with Sara and it’s a beautiful night. I love the summer!”

“Me too,” Neal said with a smile, actually looking forward to the evening. While each of them regarded the other as their requisite “rebound person,” Sara was a lot of fun to be with and helped to take his mind off of the whole Peter situation.  She had also proven to be a very good friend, propping him up when he was feeling sorry for himself and unlovable, and encouraging him in his work and art. The sex was the cherry on top. He sometimes wondered what might have happened if their timing had been different.

There was a knock at the door and Neal glanced at the time on his phone. “She’s early, that’s unusual.” He walked down the long hallway that led to the bathroom, crossed over to the door and said as he opened it wide, “Early? This has got to be a first –“ His smile faded as he saw it who it was.

“Peter.”

“Neal.”

They stood silently for several seconds. Peter looked at Neal and his mouth went dry; he forgot everything he had prepared himself to say. “You’re on your way out. I should go…” He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb.

“I’m not leaving for a while. Do you want to come in?” Neal thought Peter looked like a deer caught in a pair of headlights, like he wanted to bolt. Peter took a deep breath and crossed the threshold.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“Maybe some water?” Peter downed the entire glass Neal handed him and Neal filled it again. When he took it from Neal, their fingers touched and he couldn’t resist, he took Neal’s wrist and pulled him closer, went to kiss him.

“Hey!” Neal said, pushing him away with a hand on his chest; gently, but he’d still pushed. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…but I…I just miss you so much.”

Neal’s face softened, but he took a step back. “I…” He was about to say, _I do too_ , but shook his head to steel himself, and instead said, “…think you should go.”

Peter turned his body as if to go and then flinched as his dick twinged painfully in his pants. He was reminded of why he’d come, and turned to face Neal again. “I don’t want to.”

“Oh?”

“No. I have something important to tell you.”

Peter’s uncertain expression belied the meaning of his words, but Neal decided to let it slide. He just looked at Peter expectantly.

 Peter took a deep breath, carefully considering his next words. “When you and I first got together, it was fun. I mean, I had fun, it seemed like you were having fun too.”

“I did.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t think it all through at the time, but along the way, I became aware of all the consequences of what we were doing and I didn’t think I could live with them, and I didn’t want you to have to either. There was more risk for you than for me. You understand that, right?”

Neal nodded.

“I thought if I ended it at that point, maybe no one would get hurt and it was all for the best. But I was wrong. So, so wrong. And I’m sorry.”

Neal blinked but said nothing.

Peter took a deep breath, his face flushing. “And  so I’ve come here to say that; to apologize and express my regret that I ever hurt you in any way, because that is the last thing I would ever want to do, because…because…” Peter flinched again as his dick twisted itself in his pants. “Because I’m in love with you!” he finally blurted.

Neal regarded Peter with an unreadable expression on his face. He wondered what he should do. Here was the man he loved, who had hurt him more than he had thought possible, standing open and vulnerable in front of him, declaring his feelings. He was getting everything he thought he wanted. Could he take it?

“I don’t know,” he finally said, and he wished he could keep his tone neutral. He thought he sounded too needy. “You know, Peter, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. You pursued _me_. I never went for any of this.”

“I know, I know,” Peter said. He halved the distance between them, held out his hands as if he might take Neal into his arms.

How Neal ached for that, but he took a step back, raised a hand to stop him. “This really hurt me. This…” he waved his hand between them, “whole thing. And while I don’t exactly blame you, I’m not sure I can trust you. Or it. Or us. Here.”  He put his hand over his heart for emphasis, and while he didn’t really want to believe what he was saying, it had to be said. He had to have his viewpoint out in the open.

Peter lowered his arms, and his face fell as the impact of Neal’s words hit home. “So. What, we’re back where we started?”

“I don’t know. Yes? Maybe.” He hated being so indecisive, but this was the single most confusing thing he’d ever experienced and he hated it.

Neal felt his dick twitch in his pants and shifted his stance a bit, but the movement became insistent, as if his dick were tapping his leg to get his attention.

“Not now,” Neal turned his head, muttered.

“Come on, guy, don’t do this to yourself,” his dick whispered.

Neal turned away, craned his head down to address his dick surreptitiously. “Cut it out,” he hissed.

“No. Come on, listen to me.”

Neal turned to Peter. “Will you excuse me?” He crossed to the door off his kitchen that led to the bathroom and rear suite and let it close behind him.

“ _Marone a mi_! What are we gonna do?”  Peter’s dick exclaimed.

“What, you’re Italian now?”

“Don’t be a _wisenheimer_. Listen, you’d better tap dance quick, kid, or we’re gonna lose him.”

“I know that, don’t you think I know that? I didn’t realize the extent of how hurt he was.” He raked his hand through his hair. “God, how did this get _so fucked up_?”

\----

“This had better be good,” Neal said, his voice dangerous.

“Someone had to stop you. What are you doing?”

“I’m sticking up for us.”

“You really believe that?”

Neal paused a few seconds. “No. But, it’s like I can’t help it.”

“Look, I know you’re hurting, and I know this whole situation is unfair and messy and complicated. But don’t you still love him?”

“I never stopped loving him.”

“Then don’t you want to hear what he has to say?”

“It can’t change anything.”

“But he came here. And he loves you. That’s got to count for something, doesn’t it?”

Neal stopped short, gave that statement some serious thought. All throughout their - relationship? affair?  fling? – he was never sure what Peter thought, and that was the crux of the problem as he saw it. He was more invested in it than Peter ever had been.

But perhaps not. Here Peter was, declaring a love he knew could very likely land them both in some serious trouble, and, as his own dick pointed out, it had to count for something.

\----

“I knew this was a mistake!”

“ _Ach_ , really? Thirty minutes ago he was the second best thing that’s ever happened to you. What’s changed?”

Peter wavered. “He doesn’t want me anymore,” he finally said in a small voice.

“Were we in the same room? Of course he wants you. He’s just hurt. You can’t blame him for being gun-shy. Oy, me and my big mouth. If I’d kept it shut, this all would’ve been avoided. I’m such a _schmuck_.”

Peter didn’t answer, figuring an _I told you so_ would be twisting the knife unnecessarily. When he gave no assurances, his dick continued, slightly aggrieved,  “Look, we’re here. Say what you came to say. Tell him what’s in your heart, and if he feels the same then maybe, _just maybe,_ he’ll be willing to wait for us.”

There was a knock at the door, interrupting their conversation. Neal reappeared and they looked at each other. Again, Neal’s expression was completely neutral, but Peter looked as if he was about to be led to his execution. Neal crossed the room and opened the door.

It was Sara. Neal kissed her hello and murmured into her ear, low enough so that only she cold hear, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Sara took in the scene she’d just interrupted and understood immediately what was going on. “I hope I’m not too late,” she replied softly, looking into his eyes. She saw a flash of pain there and touched his face, his shoulder, to reassure him, calm him.

Peter saw the exchange and was further convinced he’d been replaced. He wanted out of there as much as he wanted air.  

Neal stepped back, covering for the momentary display of vulnerability. He took in her dress. “You look stunning!”

“What, this old thing?” she laughed, striding into the room. Neal thought he detected a spring in her step and wondered at it. He also thought he heard a faint giggle.

Sara crossed to Peter, greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. “How are you?”

“Fine and dandy,” he replied, his voice strained.

Sara patted him on the cheek too. “Right,” she replied archly.

The three of them looked at each other until Sara broke the silence. “Looks like I walked in on something here.”

“No, you didn’t. It was a mistake to come here.” Peter took a step toward the door. “Well, you two have plans, so I’ll be on my way. _Ow_.” He stumbled as his dick twinged painfully again. Neal put a hand on his arm.

“What do you mean, it was a mistake?” Neal asked.

“It means what it means. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“Wait, don’t go.”

“I don’t think –“

“STOP!” a small but persistent voice said.

Peter and Neal turned to face Sara, who stood staring at the ceiling, her face turning an alarming shade of red.

“What was that?” Neal asked.

Sara merely pointed vaguely down below.

“What’s going on?” Sara’s pussy asked.

“I don’t know. Peter said he loved Neal but Neal won’t say it back,” replied Neal’s dick.All eyes were now on Neal, whose face was also turning several shades of dark pink.

“Aww, he loves him! Oh, Neal!” Sara’s pussy cooed.

“Um,” Neal began.

“That’s so sweet,” Sara’s pussy continued enthusiastically. “I love people in love. What’s he going to do?” 

“If only I knew,” Neal’s dick said. “This has been so hard lately.”

“It has?” Peter’s dick piped up.

“Neal’s been so sad.”

“Hey!” Neal protested, feeling his dick was betraying a confidence. He was ignored.

“Peter has too, so he came here to tell Neal his feelings and to ask if he’d take him back.”

“Hey!” It was Peter’s turn to protest.

“Shh, the adults are talking,” Peter’s dick shut him down.

“Really?” Neal asked, looking Peter in the eyes. “Is that true?”

Peter, busted, finally nodded.

“Awww,” Sara’s pussy sighed.

“It doesn’t really change anything, though, does it?” Neal asked, his momentary thrill of hope dying as quickly as it had sprung to life.

“I wish it did, but the facts are the facts. Where do we go from here? I was going to ask if you’d be willing to wait until after the anklet comes off, but I see how unfair and selfish that is now. I can’t expect that of you, not now that you have Sara.”

“Oh, Sara’s in love with someone else,” Sara’s pussy interjected.

“Hey!” Sara protested herself.

“Well, it’s not as if Neal doesn’t already know! They’re really just friends. With benefits.”

“Nice benefits,” Neal’s dick added.

“You’re so sweet,” Sara’s pussy told him.

“Oh my God, _guys_!” Sara finally had to call a halt to the gonad gabfest. “That’s enough. Do you mind if the big heads do the talking now?”

“I have always resented that distinction,” Peter’s dick always had to have the last word. “It’s very insulting.”

“As if we have nothing to add to the conversation,” Neal’s dick agreed.

Neal placed his hand over his crotch. “Please, a moment.”

“OK,” his dick said sulkily.

“Thank you. You know I love you.”

Neal’s dick was mollified. “I love you too, Neal.”

“Tell them your idea!” Sara’s pussy called out.

“Judy, come on!” Sara scolded.

“Sorry.”

“Idea?” Neal asked.

Both Neal and Peter looked at her expectantly. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, suddenly nervous now that she had the two of them in front of her. She should’ve worked out a speech in the cab ride over here. She thought she should start at the beginning.

“Peter, my, uh, lady-friend is right. Neal and I aren’t in love. I care for him deeply,” they smiled fondly at each other, “but my heart belongs to another man, a man who probably doesn’t deserve it.”

“You can say that again!” Sara’s pussy interjected.

Sara ignored her. Taking a deep breath, she began, “A man who no longer loves me. So when I realized what you both mean to each other, I couldn’t stand by and let you ruin what you have, not while I can offer up a solution.

“Here’s what I propose…what if Neal and I continued to ‘date,’” she made air-quotes with her fingers, “as a cover for you guys? If we are very public about a relationship, very few people would suspect the two of you. And if they did, well, there’s nothing we can do about it, but if you’re discreet,” she indicated the two men, “and we’re not,” she indicated herself and Neal, “well, then maybe it’ll work.”

“A classic misdirect,” Neal said, nodding.

“It’d have to be the con of our lives,” Peter said.

“Would you really be up to it?” Neal asked Sara.

She smiled and nodded. “I love you, Neal. You’ve been my best friend these last few weeks. How could I not? You’d do it for me.”

Neal hugged her then, and kissed her on the mouth. “Thank you so much,” he said when they parted.

She swiped a tear out of her eye. “Listen, I, of all people, know how rare it is to find love. You guys – don’t let this one die.”

Peter and Neal looked at each other and finally, when Peter took Neal by the wrist again Neal didn’t pull away. The kissed, passionately, Neal melting into Peter’s arms with a sigh.

“Hurray!” came a chorus of three interested parties.

“So I guess we should work out the logistics,” Neal said when they parted. He went to the kitchen and chose a bottle of wine and three glasses.

 “There is just one little tiny stipulation,” Sara said as he poured.

The two men looked at her expectantly. Sara gestured vaguely between her and Neal, but her hand was positioned below her waist. “Neal, our, um, _parts_ have developed an attachment. If I were to put words to it, I’d say they’re in love.”

“Hey!” Sara’s pussy protested. It was her turn to be shocked by a revelation.

“So, while I don’t expect anything more than a platonic relationship with you from this point on, we need to make sure they can, um, also explore their feelings. The funny thing is, I don’t think they’re all that sexual about it.”

Neal nodded, understanding. “He does seem to like her a lot. He’s always asking me what songs she might like.”

“I hope you don’t mind me bringing it up,” Sara said to both men. “It’s just – well, she’s been with me through thick and thin and she never asks for anything…”

“I understand completely,” Peter agreed. “My guy looks after me like a pit bull. It’s annoying usually, but also very sweet.”

“Hey!” Peter’s dick protested.

“He also gives good advice,” Peter added, wanting to give his dick a bit of credit for its contributions to his life. Now that things were going to be worked out between him and Neal, he was feeling magnanimous.

“Mine loves everyone,” Neal added.

Sara raised an eyebrow. “And everyone loves him. He may be the source of your super powers, Neal Caffrey. Treat him well.”

They settled down with their wine, intending to work out the details of their new arrangement, but Neal’s dick was still a bit restless. He chubbed up a bit as he strained upward to talk to Neal.

“Hey, Neal!” he whispered

Neal bowed his head to address him. “Hmm?”

“Do we really get to see Peter again? And his dick?”

“Yes.”

“But we can still see Sara, and Judy?”

“Of course. We don’t want you to be separated.”

“Oh, my darlings, we can all still be together!” Neal’s penis gushed, “Oh, thank you Neal, thank you Sara, thank you Peter. I feel a song coming on.”

Neal ran a hand over his eyes and sighed. “Really? Now?”

“I must insist, Neal.” Neal’s dick cleared its throat and began to sing,

“It's very clear Our love is here to stay Not for a year But ever and a daaaay.

“In time the Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble, There're only made of claaay. But our love is here to stay.” 

\----

Neal’s dick isn’t here, but if he were, he’d thank you for your time!

**Author's Note:**

> The first song is “Fit as a Fiddle and Ready for Love” written by Al Hoffman and Al Goodhart; it was featured in the film “Singin’ in the Rain.” 
> 
> The second is “Our Love is Here to Stay” by George Gershwin; it's been in about 100 movies, but my fave is "When Harry Met Sally...".


End file.
